ULTRAVIOLET. There's a hole in my skin that they injected the ink in I kiss the paper with wax-stained lips, begging my pen Boils blue, black, red as she throttles the struggle But if you looked at her, she'd seem perfectly innate, sane, verboten She's tied up by the words, the masochism is eating her, leaking into her like water Her smiles light up dark rooms, her photos in a manilla folder She's a shadow that follows me around like a toddler For her, I bring the numbers up, lower the pounds on the scale, bake my face in makeup And when we meet again at the graveyard, she'll hand me a bright blue balloon I dose myself with bright white pills, ink in the skin Nobody told me to stop, but she did She begs me to She arches my back at night with her lips tracing down my bones The only girl I'd let put a knife to my throat And maybe this is what I'm made for, prophet, philosopher I'm the storm drain, eating up the memories, the journals And baby, that's what my name is, curse on the lips Both pairs, both crevices made for you I am black and white, I'm your film noir And she's so ultraviolet, nobody else can see her And I'm hiding from my heart, she knows it too Cassette tape with your last words recorded Repeat, record, revenge, relove And she's the reason I'm so terrified to grow up Maybe someday she'll forget me when I'm so far away Would she come visit? Even when I'm six feet under? All my unsent letters, poems held in her hands And I wake up underneath the both of them, they haunt me I'm in a black mesh bag submerged in her submarine