elegance I was four months sober when my mom called from her car Already knowing what she’d probably say Mood dipped into your empty reservoir Like the dried-up lakes they talk about I haven’t seen you in years, loved you to date Life was worse without you around town For the cigarettes you pass around, your guitar with it’s broken strings Whiplash from your love and your hate Your “death” feels so elegant around December Like the calm before the storm It deepens my depression and I can’t separate The worst of her love from all your pain Some rich girl on the internet says you deserved what you got For the shit you pulled way back in June, July I’m biting back my anger for your sentencing and abduction From the life you spoke so highly about Tracking down your address and your broken family Kiss my scars and tell me I’m free Move your hand to my back, hold me close to say You’re the only real friend I ever had I’m not looking for some answer that I know I’ll never get A loose path from the ward into your lawyer’s chair I’ve been so fragile since I last saw your face But at least I’m not malnourished and in jail There’s this deep-seated sadness that your eyes cannot replace Just be careful when you’re up against his fists All this sadness brings salvation that you convinced me to try But it didn’t work on your goddamned escape