ache Dad’s dusty old Chevy spits carbon monoxide He never says much as he drives down the southbound highway If your backyard could talk it would ask about your anxious dog Cause that damn thing would never shut up no matter how hard you tried End of the summer, I’m afraid that you’re listening in All the blood-red carpets underneath your oriented eyes And I thought as I got older the discontented feeling would fade But I couldn’t get sober until my best friend eventually died Everything I thought I knew vanished It’s just a little longer till I’m draining out, crashing into the stop sign And anything he asked I could never answer Basic or complexities I know the world feels so dry, somewhere it’s greener now And I thought I was following my mom to Northern Maine I ignored the signs so easily The minute that you dove under I knew I was in love with her Late into the night, endless angst And the feeling of a male validating The identity of a child, the first time We’re drawing the garden, pastel We’re taking a polaroid at the mall They kissed all my scars But there was nothing to fix, nothing to fix That I couldn’t do myself Just to replace me, repair me, escape me Who could repair me endlessly? Everything I’ve known has always died It’s just the speedometer on my dad’s black car The field of wildflowers Until I’m all gone Until I’m found again